As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
