So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Randomize