maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
