This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
