member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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