Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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