How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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