Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
