Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
