That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
