Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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