so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
We left the knife in your bed.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize