sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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