It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
two words...techno handjob
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
