just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
