ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I am midnight drunk by noon
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
