went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
