My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
please come you make the beer taste better
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
