it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
You need a sexual gate keeper
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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