new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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