now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
