Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
