I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
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