This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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