My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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