I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
