Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
