nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
