I wish i was in the wii world.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
