Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
