On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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