I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
