Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
