This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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