Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
