You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
These tits shall not be calmed
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
