Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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