is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
