so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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