he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
