3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
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