Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize