It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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