Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
