I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I'm having to shit out rocks
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize