How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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