My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
grandma shit on top of the toilet
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
