Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
