Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
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