i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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