You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
The best revenge is premature balding
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
