Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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