Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Randomize
