dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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