I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
