are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
