I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
