After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
