I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Randomize