You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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