watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
